What’s in my Makeup Bag!

Did anyone else grow up watching those videos on YouTube?

Ever since I was in elementary school, they’ve been my guilty pleasure to watch. They feel personal, intimate even. The fact that someone felt so excited and giddy about their makeup that they made a whole video gushing about every product, how they use it, what they love about it, and how it makes them feel is so sweet to me. Like, tell me more, tell me everything! As I watched them share, I would fiddle with my very large collection of Lip Smackers, the first “makeup” I ever had and loved (and the start of my undying love for lippies).

Over the years, my relationship with makeup evolved a lot. From religiously wearing nothing but lip balm and a thick layer of kajal throughout middle school, to experimenting with just concealer and lip gloss in high school, and then buying every dupe of the Clinique Black Honey lipstick I could find in college, I slowly worked my way up to having a full makeup bag and a routine of my own.

Before I carry on, I want to share a bit more about the significance of Clinique Black Honey in my life. My friends from college can attest that I was manically obsessed with this product. Or, well, buying dupes of this product. Why? Honestly, I couldn’t tell you. It was probably the overload of videos talking about what a perfect shade it was for all skin tones, or how it was the key to achieving that “your lips but better” look. I really did think it was a pretty shade, though. So much so that I bought practically every dupe of it on the market. At the time, spending over $20 on a makeup product felt illegal, but somehow my mind justified spending over $100 on different versions of the exact same shade. It wasn’t until my birthday, when my friends gifted me the real thing, that I finally owned an actual Clinique Black Honey. I treasured it like gold.

“This is my forever shade,” I thought.

“I should buy so many backups of this in case they ever stop making it,” my mind said three years ago. And now I have three Clinique Black Honeys expiring inside my desk drawers.

Point of the story: forever does not exist!!! No matter how many times I thought I had found my forever, holy-grail product, the one I couldn’t live without, I’d eventually outgrow it or get the urge to try something new. And I used to get so mad at myself for having that urge. For some reason, I felt like I needed to perfect my routine. Once I found a product in each category that I liked, that was supposed to be it. No more searching. No more experimenting. But I’ve realized that “perfect” isn’t just subjective from person to person, it can mean something completely different to me from time to time as well.

I find so much joy through makeup. The act of swatching products in a store, thinking you love something, realizing you actually hate it, returning it, appreciating cute packaging, using your friend’s stuff, buying something they recommended to you, and the list goes on! Why would I strip myself of these joys in the name of having a perfected routine? I like trying and collecting new makeup, and that’s that.

This acceptance led me to this project, where I document what my routine looks like at different points in my life. At its core, every product I bring into my makeup bag is significant to me. It tells me a little bit about where I am at that moment. The colors I’m drawn to, whether I’m feeling bold or sweet, the values and ingredients that are important to me, who or what has been inspiring me and so much more. My makeup bag is constantly changing, just as I do.

So here’s what’s in, or has been in, my makeup bag!